[Records] Five Things More Scary Than A Zombie!
Hello there my readers, it’s Jabberwocky here with another article!
This article won’t save your life in the zombie apocalypse, but it will make you feel better when faced with a zombie to know that there are things out there way more scarier.
Now this list is a generic list of things people find freaky and scary, if you are not one of these people, congratulations, but if you are; welcome to the article of nightmares
*Disclaimer: All photos apart from the dolls and the snake bite came off Google Images, I do not own them.
5: Bound Feet
When we think of an x-ray of someones feet we think of the feet looking like this:
But sometimes, the x-ray of the feet come out looking like this:
The second photo is an x-ray of feet that have been bound, an ancient tradition to keep feet small, delicate and beautiful. Now even today women torture their poor feet with ridiculously pointed toes on their shoes and very high heels, but the Imperial Chinese took it a step further, by binding the girls feet so they would not grow past a certain size. The problem is, the feet still have to grow as you get older, no matter how tightly you wrap them. And so if the feet can not grow normally, this is how they grow:
That is a picture of a women’s foot and the shoes that she wears, the shoes are actually the same size as a packet of smokes. So next time you are with someone who smokes, take the packet from them and then imagine wearing something that small.
While researching this article I actually learnt more about the process and saw pictures that had me rubbing my feet to make them feel better and trying not to cry as I read about the process. Not only do they go through tremendous amounts of pain (their toes are broken and then wrapped tightly so that their foot is the ‘perfect size’, between 2-4 inches) but this happens when they are between 3-11 years old.
Foot binding was used to show status and identity, and to be perfectly honest, I would much rather face a horde of zombies then to go through this process!
4: Life Like Dolls.
A lot of people are freaked out about dolls, they find them horrible and some even say that they look identical to dead babies. I personally am not one of these people (Apart for when it comes to clown dolls, they can all go burn!) as I actually collect Life Like Dolls.
Myself with my doll Scathach, who is mistaken for a baby a lot.
But I have met people who would rather face off with zombies then even be in a room with more than two dolls, not wanting to look in to their soulless glass eyes nor turn their back on them. My mother is one of these people, I still live with my parents, and I am allowed to collect the dolls as long as I lock them in the wardrobe and don’t have them on display.
Now this fear does not just stay with human dolls, I also collect life like monkey dolls, and these still freak people out.
I have seen dolls that make me even cringe, but that is because of either the sculpt or workmanship that goes in to the doll. I have also seen dolls that are meant to be ‘scary’ or ‘Gothic’ and completely fallen in love with them. I am even saving up to get a unique doll made up for myself in America, which will be a toddler version of the Norse god Loki.
And so when it comes to zombie hordes baring down on these peoples houses, they will just be thankful that there are no dolls around!
I HATE spiders with a passion, I don’t care how much someone tells me about ‘everything deserving to live on gods green Earth’, the big guy up there must have made a mistake with these freaks!
Pictured: KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!
Now I know that scientifically speaking no matter where you are there is a spider within a meter radius of you, but that doesn’t mean that I have to get used to them! Spiders and I do not get along, and even though I am all for saving animals, nine times out of ten the spider meets its demised whilst I scream ‘BURN IT IN HELL!’ at the top of my lungs from the opposite side of the house.
If there was ever a time in the zombie apocalypse I had to face off between a horde of zombies and a spider infested room, well sign me up for the main course of brains and get ready to release a bullet in to me! No matter how much I have tried to get myself used to spiders and calmed down enough to deal with them without screaming for help, I just can’t do it.
The fear that grips me sends my brain in to flight mode and I high tail it out of there whilst screaming for daddy!
HELP THERE IS A SPIDER… AND I TURNED IN TO A CAT FROM TERROR!
So my advice to other arachnophobia sufferers, when it comes to the zompoc, partner up with someone who isn’t scared of spiders, because at least you’ll be protected from the eight-legged freaks!
Pictured: not a zombie snake!
I have met so many people who are afraid of snakes that I have lost count, some even live in my small country town where snakes can be seen in the main streets and in backyards each Summer.
I personally love snakes, even after being bitten by three different types of venomous snakes through out my life.
Not a zombie bite, but still something very serious!
I have heard reasoning behind peoples fear of snakes ranging from ‘They are slimey!’ to ‘Mate. They are snakes, enough said!’. The snake has a bad rep, always has and probably always will. Even going back as far as when the bible was written, the creature is always portrayed as a snake that deceives Eve and gets her and Adam kicked out of Eden. The symbol of the Norse God of Mischief and Lies is two snakes intertwined biting each others tail (I should know, I’m getting it as a tattoo )
And I have to say, snakes are a very scary creature when one stops to think about it. They are a very efficient evolution track (Or design if you don’t believe in evolution), they have lost their legs and yet they are one of the most feared hunters in the animal kingdom (I know because I asked a mouse once, before it was fed to a python).
Their striking speed is astonishing and some species venom still does not have a cure, they are responsible for many deaths each year and thousands of bites as well. So in the zompoc you not only have to worry about zombies, but you have to worry about Snakes.
In Australia we have some of the most deadly snakes in the world and to someone who is terrified of snakes having to move to the bush to survive would probably send them in to cardiac arrest. And that is where things can get hairy, do you go in to the bush to survive even though there are snakes, or do you stay in the city and keep fighting it out just to avoid the snakes?
My advice, take a shovel with you in the bush, a quick stab and their heads can come off. But the best thing is, they can still bite you even when their head has been disconnected, and their venom takes over 48 hours to dry up after they have died.
1: Twilight Fangirls.
Ah yes, the crazed fans of Twilight! The one thing that reminds me most of an actual live zombie horde, and if you’ve ever been caught up in one of their mass migrations towards the cinema, you know what I’m talking about.
And if you are lucky enough not to have been caught by these hormonally charged girls, this is what you get to look forward to if you ever do:
Clawing, screaming, crying and moaning… Yep, it’s a zombie horde!
I’m not talking about regular fans, I am talking about the crazed fans that make the real fans look bad. Now, I am a huge nerd and I am proud to say that. I used to be able to speak Elvish when I was younger, I basically lived off the Harry Potter books and I actually screamed in delight at the ending of The Avengers (Bruce Banner, Clint Barton and Loki FTW! / ).
I am a hardcore fan to some people, but others look at me and shake their head, knowing that I could never be one of them! The crazed fans are what makes the other fans laugh and roll their eyes while making sure their friends don’t succumb to this new disease of crazed fan!
Now you may be asking yourself ‘But Jabberwocky, what is the difference between a normal fan and a crazy fan?!’ I shall show you in pictures.
This is a normal fan:
This is a crazy fan:
See the difference?
So be careful when you are next down the street, the zombie horde you are running from just might be crazed fan girls. Sorry to disappoint you.
A special mention for this, because I honestly didn’t know how to rate it, apart from in the BURN IT WITH FIRE AND SEND IT TO SPACE AH! Category, but I will give it here anyway
That is a childs skull with both the adult teeth and baby teeth.
We all had a skull like this before.
Sleep tight, Zombie hunters.